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What you gonna talk ’bout NOW?

February 1, 2010

Pluto was of huge help. That’s the name of this funny little German Spitz I had for 10 years before he died on us last year. I won’t write much about how adorable he was. If you’ve had a pet, and a dog at that, you pretty much know what that’s like. Even if you haven’t had a dog, you might’ve read or watched Marley & Me. That kinda nails it.

My point however, is that thanks to Pluto, we never ran out of conversation.

Guests would come in, make themselves comfortable and chit-chat would ensue. But then that point would happen – the dreaded lull. It’d be too early to make the polite “we should get going now” move. Plus the refreshments would be on their way. Or more refreshments would be on their way – wouldn’t make sense to leave just then? This is when Pluto would trot in hogging everyone’s attention. He’d wait for this moment to pull a stupid stunt. Maybe sneeze on someone’s face. Maybe bring a dead frog and drop it on the rug (they love showing off their treasures). Maybe roll on his back and expect someone to scratch his tummy (now that people were quiet and apparently jobless). What can i say, Pluto was a very social creature. As cheeky as they get. These social creatures i mean. You know them. He would take a chair of his own and listen in on the conversation. Or rest his head on the guest’s knee and expect to be patted and coddled as the conversation went on and do a bunch of other stuff that I’d elaborate on had this post been about Pluto. Either way he made sure he was where there are people – preferably interacting with each other in some way. Excited group pictures were his fave. He’d appear out of nowhere, lodge his audacious self in a sweet spot and calmly face the camera.

Pluto was a social object. No sir.  Awkward silences did not happen when we entertained.

In this arbit process of socializing, he charmed people to bits. Even dog atheists. Even animal atheists. Even bitter souls that refuse to get charmed by anything (you could give them an orgasm and they wouldn’t notice it cuz the purpose of their life is to be get pained by shit). These people would break into a laugh, or ask questions about his ‘routine’ (all animals have similar routines) and slowly reach out to touch him, just to see what he’d do next, all the while bemused by his ‘humanized’ behaviour. Those who swore that they suffered from dog allergies couldn’t wait to fondle this peculiar ball of fur. They’d even step down a couple of rungs from their sophistication-ladder by indulging in baby talk (much to his discomfort I swear). We had never trained this guy to do anything. He seemed to have decided (luckily for us) to be a wicked little gentleman on his own. We, meanwhile, loved telling his stories. And we’d be nudged for them. His sole presence influencing that nudge.

You’d naturally assume NOW we have nothing left to entertain our guests with.

Only that we do.

Our new social object is a cowboy.

Ya.

Actually.

And he’s bloody cool. Hat tilted, legs propped, he lounges on our drawing room floor; saddle and rope tucked under him, he balances mom’s prized crystal bowl on his knee. Total Stud. You enter our place and you have a complete WTF moment.

Right.

Some people are quite terrified of our taste in front-room furniture.

Some are amazed at our guts.

Some just stare in bewilderment.

Some admire the intricate creases of his pants.

Everyone wants his story though.

If you come over, we’ll tell you about that time…

The time when a toddler walked in the door,

And caught sight of this strange man sprawled on the floor,

And wailed his throat dry,

And had to be pacified,

A pat on the man’s hat,

And he knew it was a ceramic act.

Ok so that actually led to an awkward silence 😛 but only while the toddler gingerly stroked the man’s moustache. Who knows maybe he will grow up and hack this thing to pieces for all the nightmares it caused.

It doesn’t matter. There will still be a story.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Shama permalink
    February 18, 2010 9:50 PM

    “…he charmed people to bits. Even dog atheists” how very true..not that i’m a dogatheist (just sounds better as a single word, don’t you think! )..i’m not sure actually..i don’t mind dogs…i like observing them from a safe distance 🙂
    and i’m so disappointed i missed my WTF moment this time! lol..next time for sure

    • February 19, 2010 12:23 PM

      Absolutely! We’ll make you wear a cowboy hat and pose next to him 😐

  2. March 8, 2010 12:29 PM

    The table/man always startles me! I still have to get used to it/him. I just hope the day doesn’t come when he crawls and looks at me with big innocent eyes and expect me to pat him!

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